Way harsh, Ty, you say. You’re right—they’re not all shameless narcissists: some of them are just clueless. (zing!) Some of this cluelessness is fairly straightforward: the publishing of debit card photos, the rants about employers, the “In Tahiti for the next month—hope I remembered to lock the door” updates. But some of it is utterly perplexing. Below, 8 habits I don’t understand, and three that I do, but find highly off-putting.
- Symbols in bios. I know 160 characters ain’t much, but what exactly is that spade supposed to signify?
- Hashtags in bios. Especially generic hashtags, like “ #running.” These words show up in search results regardless—no need to pound ‘em!
- Accolade-only bios. Next.
- Bios that are just vaguely aspirational/inspirational aphorisms. Why yes, I too am reaching for the stars whilst keeping my sneaks on the pavement. We should be besties!
- Bios that contain any of the following: “visionary,” “guru,” “pro,” “ninja,” “innovator,” “all-around good guy,” “Christ-lover,” “devoted father/mother/husband”
- Insanely high following counts. You can’t possibly read, let alone respond to, 40,000 tweet streams.
- Tweets that start with “This,” followed by a link. This what?
- Hashtags that are just long, boring sentences #imboredandhungrycanigonow
- People who retweet tweets that mention them.
- People who use TrueTwit
- People who reward your reduced follower:following count with an automated DM asking you to “like” them on Facebook. No, but I will unfollow you!
Disagree with any/many of the above? Get @ me or let me know in the comments!